Th $47 Bath Bomb Reality Check
We’ve all been there. You buy the fancy bath bomb, the jade roller, the £20 face mask, because Instagram swears this is how “self-care queens” glow up. And then you sit there, surrounded by lavender-scented regret, wondering why you still feel like roadkill.
That’s because this isn’t self-care. It’s marketing.
Real self-care is not aesthetic, doesn’t always smell nice, and definitely won’t get you likes. But it will keep you alive and vaguely functional. Which, frankly, is the point.
Myth #1: Bubble Baths Fix Burnout
Look, bubble baths are fine. Lovely, even. But they won’t undo a toxic boss or six months of poor sleep. As one burnt-out teacher put it: “I was basically pouring £200 a week into spa days that just gave me cleaner skin and the same anxiety.”
If you actually want recovery, swap the bath bomb for Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Spoiler: the stress cycle ends with movement, not eucalyptus bubbles.
Myth #2: Toxic Positivity = Resilience
“Good vibes only.” “Choose happiness.” Translation: ignore your feelings until they eat you alive.
Real resilience isn’t about faking sunshine — it’s about noticing when you’re angry, sad or overwhelmed, and then doing something about it. Pretending you’re fine is like ignoring the smoke alarm and hoping the fire goes away.
Want practical tools for this? Real self-care cuts through the fluff.
Myth #3: Hustle = Success
Wellness culture has sold us “rest so you can work harder.” Which is like telling someone to breathe only so they can run faster.
Rest is not a productivity hack. It’s survival. You’re not a MacBook that needs charging; you’re a human who needs care regardless of output.
Reset your thinking with Set Boundaries, Find Peace — it’ll teach you that saying no is sometimes the most successful thing you can do.
What Real Self-Care Looks Like
Real self-care is boring. It’s maintenance. It’s the stuff that never makes Instagram reels:
- Going to bed at 10 p.m. instead of doomscrolling.
- Prepping lunches so you don’t haemorrhage cash on meal deals.
- Drinking water before coffee (yes, this counts).
- Saying no to plans you already resent.
None of this looks glamorous, but it works. Lisa, a mum of two, calls it “micro-maintenance.” Five-minute stretches. One text to a mate each week. Water bottle always within reach. She didn’t “transform her wellness.” She just stopped feeling like she was drowning.
If you want to try the “boring magic,” start with The Five-Minute Journal and a decent water bottle. Not glamorous. Very effective.
The Tiny Squeeze Experiment
Here’s your challenge: swap one fluffy self-care act for one maintenance act this week. Replace the mani-pedi with an early bedtime. Ditch the £5 latte and buy breakfast ingredients for the week. Track how you feel.
If your so-called self-care leaves you just as wrecked on Monday, it isn’t care. It’s cosplay.
Tools That Actually Help
- Real Self-Care — how to spot marketing traps.
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace — the manual for saying no.
- Burnout — why you feel like this and how to fix it.
- The Five-Minute Journal — zero-fluff daily reflection.
- Sunrise alarm clock — stop waking up to panic-buzzers.
Final Squeeze
Self-care that requires a shopping spree or an aesthetic flatlay isn’t self-care. It’s capitalism in yoga pants.
The most radical thing you can do is treat your own needs like they matter as much as everyone else’s. No filter, no hashtags, just boring maintenance that actually works.
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