The Lie That Everyone Else Is Ahead
You’re scrolling, and it feels like everyone’s overtaking you. The friend who just bought a house. The colleague who somehow does sunrise yoga and has a side hustle. The stranger on Instagram who appears to be permanently on holiday.
Your brain whispers: “You’re behind.”
But here’s the truth: there is no universal timeline. There’s no scoreboard. No finish line where someone rings a bell and announces “She made it first!” That feeling of being behind is an illusion built on comparison.
Why It Feels So Real
Humans are wired to compare. It’s survival coding: Am I doing okay in the tribe? Am I pulling my weight? Social media hijacks that wiring and supercharges it. Instead of comparing ourselves to a few neighbours, we’re comparing ourselves to millions of curated, filtered highlight reels.
And it’s exhausting. That voice in your head isn’t insight — it’s insecurity multiplied by an algorithm.
You’re Not Lazy — You’re Human
That “I’ll never catch up” panic isn’t laziness. It’s depletion. Doomscrolling burns through energy and leaves you foggy. The same way a junk food binge leaves you full but not nourished, a social feed binge leaves your brain buzzing but not satisfied.
Want the antidote? The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown is the book for this exact spiral.
Tiny Squeezes to Break the “Behind” Illusion
1. The One-Line Journal
At the end of each day, write one line about something you actually did. Doesn’t matter how small. “Cooked pasta instead of ordering in.” “Did two loads of laundry.” That’s progress.
Use something simple like The Five-Minute Journal — no pressure, no fluff.
2. Unfollow the Trigger Accounts
Mute or unfollow 3 accounts that always make you feel “behind.” Fill that slot with one that grounds you — a library, a nature account, even a lemon memes page if it makes you smile.
3. Redefine “Ahead”
Write down what your “ahead” looks like. Maybe it’s sleeping 7 hours. Maybe it’s not snapping at your kids. Maybe it’s sending one job application. That’s success on your terms, not Instagram’s scoreboard.
The Real Competition
The only person you’re in competition with is yesterday’s you. If you’ve made one tiny squeeze of progress — drank the water, muted the draining account, made the pasta — you’re ahead.
Everyone else’s life is a highlight reel. Yours is real. And real counts more.
Tools That Help You Remember
- The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown at her best.
- The Five-Minute Journal — reflection without pressure.
- Atomic Habits — build your version of “ahead.”
Final Squeeze
You’re not behind. You’re on your own track. Stop letting an algorithm convince you otherwise. One small squeeze forward today is more than enough.
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